- Stephen
7 Warning Signs of Affairs for Pastor vs. God's Way of Doing things
I read an interesting article entitled “7 Warning Signs of Affairs for Pastors and other Church Staff’ here… http://www.christianpost.com/news/7-warning-signs-of-affairs-for-pastors-and-other-church-staff-113788/
Perhaps one reason the 'church' and its 'leaders' are experiencing this huge and reoccurring problem of sexual immorality is because this system of 'pastor' is a lone ranger/counselor is flawed from the start. When we look at scripture and research the background of 1st century 'ways' (and before) we do not see this model. Here are some quick comments about the 7 warnings and how the old ways (God’s ways) are best…
1. "I neglected my family."
* This is true in most families outside the church but even more so in the church with leaders. The majority of pastors does not disciple their family members, spend time together in the word of God or set aside a special time with them and God. Perhaps God's perpetual command of "keep the sabbath" was there for a reason. God is smarter than us and the word He used for perpetual, forever in regards to the sabbath is the Hebrew word 'owlam' meaning for eternity. The same word 'owlam' is used to describe God's love, mercy & grace with is forever (olwam). Yet we claim the sabbath has been done away with and/or only for the "Jews". God made it clear that it was to be observed for eternity, forever and that His instructions were for both Jews and foreigners who followed Him... Leviticus 24:22 "You shall have the same law for the stranger and for one from your own country; for I am the Lord your God.’” What is unfortunate are those who do not know what the sabbath of the Lord is (its never referred to as the 'Jewish sabbath' and how it sets us apart from the world (holy). It keeps us grounded in Him and His word.
2. "I had no system of accountability."
* I think we have to question the model of counseling we 'christians' have - never do we see in scripture where there is one-on-one counseling with members of the opposite sex. Hence there was no need for a lack of accountability. History shows that in counseling at best the pastor & his wife counseled another couple or individual (built in accountability) since a husband and wife are 'one flesh'. If there was individual counseling it was male to male (pastor to husband/man) & or pastor's wife to female. Just saying perhaps the old ways are best.
3. "It began in counseling."
* If we went back to how counseling was ref. #2 then this would never be an issue.
4. "My co-worker and I began to confide in one another on a deep level."
*The mixing of genders can be ok but perhaps we can see how the 'non-mixing' was beneficial. Again if the pastor and his wife were 'one flesh' then again this lessens the possibility of this happening.
5. "I began neglecting my time in prayer and daily Bible reading."
*Its funny how many pastors are depressed because they do not 'check the box' when it comes to daily bible reading. They view it as a chore and hence the depression. As for prayer, we are to pray without ceasing = in other words we are to talk to God as He was with us all day long. The positive re-enforcement of being together with our spouses in the word and praying together is key to keeping temptation at bay.
6. "He or she made me feel so good about myself."
* Again the current modern model of counseling we have today is flawed.
7. "It began on a trip together."
* Hmmm... any time a pastor and a female who is not his wife go on a trip that is just asking for trouble IMHO. Another problem that many do not talk about is this '4 years of bible college makes one a mature man of God'. Knowledge NEVER makes one mature in the Lord. Its only through a close RELATIONSHIP that a man or woman becomes mature in the Lord. Yes proper knowledge is important but it should never replace the relationship or the imply one is Godly and mature on that fact alone. So what do bible colleges and seminaries grade on?
It is the acquiring of knowledge - taking a bunch of information and giving back the 'right' answer. It should be noted that these institutions do not grade or care how much time a student spends in prayer or living the life the Father wants us to. There is no mentoring programs that develop a child/boy to be a man of God. So why do we expect different and why are we so surprised to see more and more sexual immorality and other sins in our pastors, staff and laity? Hmmm...
Another contributing factor to sexual immorality in the church and by pastors is the fact that the majority is acquired by how well the applicant looks, speaks and what their resume says. Never in scripture do we see that we are to 'farm out' or put out a want add for a pastor. Scripture states we are to choose a mature man of God from within the body. Why? So we can know that this person is mature and knowledgeable in the Lord. How else can we know if an applicant for pastor is not given to drunkenness, immorality, a husband of one wife, has well behaved children and who's family was discipled in the word by the spiritual head of the house? Simply we cannot.
So it is no wonder we see so much sin in the ranks of clergy. Perhaps when God said not to use the ways of the pagans, it was for this and other things in our lives?
Shalom,
Stephen
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